Doom Spending: When the World Feels Heavy and Your Basket Keeps Filling Up
- May 31
- 6 min read
You didn't need it. You bought it anyway. And somehow you feel worse.
Sound familiar? You're not alone, and you're not broken. What you might be doing is doom spending, and once you understand what it actually is, the whole thing starts to make a lot more sense.
This post is for anyone who has ever found themselves three pages deep into an online checkout at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night, wondering how that happened. We're going to talk about what doom spending really is, why smart, capable women do it all the time, and what you can gently start doing instead.
No lectures. Promise.
So, what actually is doom spending?
Doom spending is exactly what it sounds like. It is the habit of spending money impulsively when life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or just a bit relentless. Not because you planned to. Not because you needed the thing. But because buying something, anything, offers a tiny hit of relief in a moment that otherwise feels out of your control.
It is retail therapy with a side of existential dread. And it has absolutely skyrocketed in recent years.
The term blew up on TikTok as more and more people started noticing the pattern in themselves. The anxious scroll through online shops. The 'treat yourself' justification when the news feels grim. The basket that fills up when work is stressful, or when you have had a row with someone, or when you are just tired and you cannot quite name why.
Here is the thing though. Doom spending is not a character flaw. It is not proof that you are bad with money. It is a coping mechanism, and it makes complete psychological sense once you understand why it happens.
Why your brain reaches for the buy now button
When life feels unpredictable or stressful, your brain is genuinely looking for something it can control. And buying something, making a decision, choosing a colour, clicking confirm, gives your brain a small but real sense of agency.
On top of that, there is a little dopamine hit involved. The anticipation of a purchase, the moment you add something to your basket, the confirmation email landing in your inbox. These all trigger a mild pleasure response in your brain. It is not imaginary. It is biology.
And in a world where the cost of living is high, the news cycle is relentless, and most of us are carrying far more than we let on, it is completely understandable that our brains are reaching for shortcuts to feel better.
The problem, as you have probably noticed, is that it does not actually work. The relief is real but it is short. And what follows it is often guilt, which piles on top of the original stress, which sends you right back to the shopping app. Round and round it goes.
How to spot doom spending in your own life
Before you can change anything, it helps to recognise the pattern. Here are some honest signs that doom spending might be showing up for you.
You spend more when you are stressed, anxious, or bored rather than when you have actually planned to buy something.
You feel a brief lift when you purchase something, followed by guilt or anxiety about the money spent.
You have items in your wardrobe with tags still on, or things you ordered and never really used.
You sometimes find yourself shopping online without really remembering how you got there. You were just suddenly browsing.
Your spending goes up when life feels uncertain, heavy, or like a lot.
None of these things make you a bad person. They make you human. But they are worth noticing, because awareness is always the first step.
What to do instead (the gentle, actually useful version)
Here is where a lot of money content will tell you to delete the apps, freeze your credit card in a block of ice, and go live in a minimalist flat with one candle and a savings chart. We are not doing that here.
Instead, here are some approaches that are kinder, more sustainable, and rooted in what is actually going on.
Name the feeling before you open the app.
When you feel the urge to browse or buy, try pausing for sixty seconds and asking yourself: what am I actually feeling right now? Stressed? Bored? Lonely? Overwhelmed? You do not have to fix the feeling. Just name it. That tiny moment of awareness can interrupt the automatic loop.
Give yourself a structured pause.
The 48-hour rule is genuinely useful here. When something lands in your basket, leave it there for 48 hours before buying. A lot of the time, the urge passes completely. If it doesn't, and you still want it two days later, that is a more intentional purchase rather than a reactive one.
Find a non-spending version of the relief.
This sounds annoying, I know. But doom spending is usually trying to do something for you. It is trying to give you a moment of pleasure, control, or escape. The question is whether you can find something else that does the same job without the financial aftermath. A walk. A long shower. A phone call to someone who makes you laugh. A really good cup of tea and something trashy on TV. These things are not lesser versions of coping. They are actually better at the job.
Build some breathing room into your budget.
This is a big one. A lot of doom spending happens when a budget is too tight and too rigid, with no room for any spontaneous enjoyment at all. If your budget feels like a punishment, you will rebel against it. A spending plan that includes a small amount of guilt-free, no-questions-asked money for yourself each month is not a luxury. It is actually a strategy. It reduces the pressure that leads to the blow-out.
This is particularly useful for anyone who has manic episodes with bipolar disorder; it's a way of protecting the bank balance that covers the essentials, while you have access to the one card that has your bucket of money that can be used when coping with these episodes.
Talk about it.
One of the most powerful things to come out of the recent trend for loud budgeting, which is the movement of people openly saying 'I can't afford that right now' rather than quietly spending to keep up, is the reminder that we are not alone in this. Other people are also struggling. Other people are also doom spending and feeling guilty about it. Talking about it, even with one friend, breaks the shame cycle in a way that solo willpower simply cannot.
Key Takeaways
Doom spending is spending impulsively as a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, or overwhelm. It is not a willpower failure.
The brief relief it provides is real, but short-lived, and the guilt that follows often makes the original feeling worse.
Understanding why you do it is more useful than simply trying harder not to.
Practical tools like the 48-hour pause, a guilt-free spending allowance, and naming your feelings before you open the app can help interrupt the pattern gently.
You do not need to overhaul everything overnight. Start by noticing.
One more thing before you go
If this post resonated with you, there is a good chance that doom spending is just one piece of a bigger picture. The emotional side of money, why we spend, avoid, worry, or sabotage ourselves, is something I think about and work on with my clients all the time.
That is exactly why I am building a free course. It is designed to help you understand your own relationship with money, work through the emotional blocks that keep you stuck, and start building real, grounded confidence with your finances. No overwhelm. No jargon. Just the stuff that actually makes a difference.
It is not live yet, but the waiting list is open and you will be first to know when the doors open, along with anything extra I put together for early subscribers.
In the meantime, if you are not already on the Spill the Budget newsletter list, come and join us. It is fortnightly, it is honest, and it will never make you feel rubbish about where you are with money.
Emma Galbraith is a financial coach and founder of The Girl Budgets, helping women move from money panic to grounded financial confidence. This content is for educational purposes and does not constitute regulated financial advice.
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